SWW- the funny edition

 

So I realized that my SWW for this week was pretty whiny, and while I didn't delete it, I did come up with some positive ones for you to read...

So what if I just had a 45 minute knock down drag out with Gav, over the lack of slumber party happenings in their room tonight.

So what if Gav's favorite Christmas gift not from Santa was a gift card to Starbucks.  He loves our coffee dates and he is so excited to use it!

So what if Geri Ann Ritter's clothes make me scratch my head, by no means am I a fashion expert, but holy moly, sometimes I wonder if she gets dressed in the dark.

So what if we moved the ottoman today and found enough food to feed a small army.

So what if I had the best fish today at the Skiff hospital cafeteria.  It was fresh, and crispy, super good and CHEAP! For four dollars, I got a piece of fish, some carrot sticks and a large pepsi.

Love to you all.

 

SWW

 

 

So what if it I really had no idea what day of the week it was until 4:30pm and I finally remembered that today is indeed Wednesday, and SWW to boot!

 

So what if I can not wait for next weekend because I am getting away from my family for a break with some of my Internet friends.

 

So what if I have been to outpatient surgery at Skiff more times in the last week then I care to.

 

So what if I am kinda in a funk right now, I have to worst Christmas spirit this year, and I am having trouble getting excited about it.  I am worried sick about my grandma who needs lots of prayers right now, and throwing a little pity party this holiday season.

 

So what if I actually called this Christmas the "best, worst Christmas ever."

 

So what if I am throwing a pity party for myself this holiday.  At 28 years old all of my outstanding Christmas traditions were turned upside down this year. 

 

So what if despite the above, we still figured out how to bend to make some new traditions, and managed to make some good memories.  It could always be much much worse than what we have going on. 

 

So what if I was moved to tears at our Christmas Eve service at The Way.  I needed to just be reminded to let go and let God.  He has really given me some peace in my heart and I am just so thankful that we can just hand it all over to Him.

 

So what if everyone but me is napping.  The big boys are grouchy and have been having some pain from their surgery, Scott is feeling pretty rough from his tubes today, and the babies are just napping.

 

So what if I am going to take down my Christmas ornaments off the tree. It looks silly with the top half decorated and the bottom bare. Plus I think I like it better with just lights anyway.

 

So what if after the first of the year, I am back on the "gettin skinny" train.  I am secretly excited to get rid of all of this crappy food.

 

So what if I can't think of anything funny to write about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas then and now...

There has been a lot of growing going on in the last 366 days (leap year remember?)

I love looking back at years past to see how much the boys have grown...

Grandma Jo (Scott's mom) and her favorite boys being silly.

Merry Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight,

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on your troubles will be miles away,

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore, ah
Faithful friends who are dear to us
They gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together and
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bow,
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now,
Faithful friends who are dear to us
They gather near to us once more,

Through the years we all will be together and
If the fates allow, oh yeah
But 'til then we'll have to muddle through somehow,
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Merry Christmas to all my blog readers and friends. I am so lucky know you.

Christmas Cards

 

I wish I could send every one of you a Christmas card this year, but please accept this instead.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my blog reading friends!

from the Smeads

 

Recovery

I am snowed in with comedy central.  The boys are feeling great after their surgery yesterday and are bouncing off the walls.  I am beginning to question if the dr accidentally took out part of their brains because they are acting like stooges.  But boy oh boy are they being funny.  We have been without power for most of the morning so they have been left to their own devices to entertain themselves.  I was honestly counting on them laying around for a few days but they are reared up and ready to go.  Gavin is begging to go outside and play in the snow.  But the funnies are a flowin, so far I have heard them say: (I will update as the day goes on)

"You dont need the tv mom, I can give you the forcast!" - Gav

"Gav takes care of the bad news and I take care of the good news"- K
 

They have also taken to calling me "butler" I can tell you  right now that is going to fly like a lead balloon.

That was yesterday and today is a new day. One that reminds me exactly why I do not choose to home school my children.  Because of their restrictions I can not send them outside, because of the weather conditions stink, I can not send them in the plow truck with their father.

Yesterday they were funny, today they are just down right naughty.  Yesterday they were reporting the news, today Gav "accidentally stabbed" Karter with his toy sword. I am tired, need some sleep, and a break. Normally I make up an excuse to go somewhere and go count to 10 in Walmart or at Starbucks, but because the law of a snow plower's wife states: "Ye with the plow is always the last to be plowed."  There is no way the vanborghini will make it through the 24inch drift outside my garage, I dont care how "all wheel drive" it is.

Karter is cranky, but hey, some of that is to be expected.  I switched him over to motrin instead of the Tylenol and codeine the dr sent home. He was acting like he was on drugs and completely crazy, and now it is better. He spends his days watching tv, asking to eat and playing his DS.  Gav on the other hand is singlehandedly trying to make me flip my lid.  By 11:00 today, he had found a permanent marker(I thought I had his them all) and cut his own hair with some scissors. The boys are all currently napping and I am going to join them soon.

All in all recovery has been going well.

Tonsils and "ada-ma-noids"

So what if I also brought my camera to the hospital to document the boys' surgery day?
Here are a few pictures from our morning.

 

The boys insisted on wearing their santa hats to the hospital today.  Here is K all decked out in his hospital issued pj's.

Brother together forever!

the boys played their electronics until it was time to go back.

Picture with Dad who looks kinda like a bank robber.

and another with mom.

Gav gave a thumbs up when he was all done.

All in all the day went well.  The boys were excited to get to the hospital in the morning.  About 15 minutes before Gav's turn to go down he started getting anxious and asking to go home.  He kicked and screamed the whole way back to the OR waiting area and kept trying to escape. The hardest part was when they pulled him away from me and carried him back to the OR. We walked right back to get Karter and repeated the whole thing, complete with crying and yelling "mommy dont leave me, please dont leave me!"  They were done in a flash and recovery went quick.  Gav has been an eating machine all day and has been acting fine except a little grouchy. Karter is a bear, completely cranky and impatient.  He is currently mad at me that I wont give him pizza for supper.  They all say day 3 is the worse and I am not looking forward to that but hopefully things will continue to go smoothly.

In other news, we are expecting a nasty snow storm tonight, but I am pretty excited about it.  I love getting snowed in in the winter! :)

SWW

 

SWW is becoming my favorite day of the week! The boys has their adenoids and tonsils out today but I couldn't disappoint my gal pals (and all you readers)!

 

So what if I wrote the majority of this post yesterday because I knew it would be crazy today.

 

So what if my boys were rockstars today when they got their tonsils and adenoids out today.  Gav screamed and tried to run for the door when the nurses picked him up and carried him off.  Karter cried too, I heard the nurses talking the hall that the ones that go down the hardest tend to wake up the sweetest.  This was true for both boys today.

 

So what if the Dr that did their surgery is also seeing Scott on Friday slid Scott in while the boys were in recovery so we wouldnt have to drive to DM in the snow.  Score!  His verdict? Scott's tonsils are fine, your adenoids go away as you age, and he is putting tubes in Scott's ears next week.

 

So what if yesterday I forgot about Luke's Physical Therapy appointment until an hour before they walked in the door?  I did the fastest clean sweep of my life.

 

So what if when I was cleaning I managed to get sweep up enough food off of the floor to feed an entire orphanage in Uganda.

 

So what if Luke started taking steps this week- like real steps 3-5 at a time. I almost have 2 real toddlers!

 

So what if at PT today, Luke refused to walk for his therapist.  No matter what the bribe, he wouldn't perform.

 

So what if I am so over 2012.  I am ready for a new start and a bright 2013.

 

So what if I know the UPS driver's name?   He has been here every day this week and is scheduled for every day until Friday.

 

So what if weaning Luke sucks?  Max is done. I think he has only had "nonny" once since Sunday night.  I think Luke is starting to nurse MORE! I am leaving for Omaha in a few weeks, when like it or not, he is done. I asked my LC if this is okay and she thought since we have tried every other reasoning with him that it was what we have to do.  I would just like to not be so engorged that I can enjoy myself. 

 

So what if at Weigh to Grow last night i nearly cried for and with a new mom with a sweet newborn who was tired from her baby being up all night and nursing around the clock and she had only gained a few ounces.  I've been there, in those trenches. I'm not going back.

 

So what if I can not find any motivation to finish Christmas shopping?  I just have a few left and I cant get it together enough to finish.  I guess I am just in denial that Christmas is next week.

 

So what if I love that we are getting snow tonight.  I secretly pray for monthly blizzards followed by 2-4 inch "dusting"  Did I mention Scott plows snow?

 

Happy Wednesday Y'all!

 

 

 

 

 

silence

test time.

**On Tuesday, December 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence. We will post the button and that's it. Please try to not post anything else that day if possible.

***I am not sure how to link a button; you can find it here at Kelly's Korner. If you figure out how to use the link button please leave me a comment and let me know! Thanks.



It's like the night before a big test all over again. As the night passes I can feel that tightness in my chest rising up. They are going back to school tomorrow. With Friday's tragic events, we as parents have been mindful this weekend of what our children's ears are hearing and eyes are seeing. So much was taken from every child in America on Friday. With one senseless coward's actions our whole lives have changed. We sent them to school Friday morning in a different world than they came home in. I wrote this post on Friday night, after our kids had been tucked safely into their beds. Saturday we spent the day avoiding the news and seeing Santa, a friend's wedding was a welcomed distraction.

And now today, tonight rather, I am having a hard time quieting that little voice in the back of my mind getting louder and louder "Have we done enough?"

 

Tomorrow we begin to pursue our new normal. We will get up, get our kids ready for school, (without yelling, of course, we stopped that Friday, remember?) put them on the bus and drop to our knees in prayer. Begging for God to keep them safe, begging for their protection, of them, and of their innocence.  If I am honest with my fears, that’s what I worry about most.  I don’t think it will happen here, I pray it never does, but I am worried about my babies’ innocence.  It was stolen from them Friday, but the damage is not all done.  Tomorrow they will go to school, and hear about this event from kids on the bus, or students in the lunch room.  I can’t protect them there.  From hearing those things, probably different then the things we told them securely in our own home.  So what did we do, tonight after we tucked them into bed?  The only thing we could do, we prayed.

We pleaded with our Father, the God of angel armies, to protect not only our children, but yours, and every child on this planet as they go to school in the morning.  We begged for God to not only wrap his arms of protection around our children, but for them to preserve their innocence. To safeguard what they hear, and shield their eyes from the sadness. But tomorrow is a big day, it's time we put pavement beneath our faith and walk it out. Because cuddled up on my couch in fear today and tomorrow is exactly where Satin would like me to be. And oh boy, the fear is paralyzing.


All I keep thinking is, “We didn’t tell them “they” were kids, and we haven’t told them it happened in a school.”  My own 28 year old brain cannot wrap my head around this; I can barely expect my 7 and 5 year old to do the same. It is just too much and it just isn’t fair. I asked Scott if we could just keep them home Monday and Tuesday of this week.  They have their tonsils & adenoids removed on Wednesday and won’t be back until after the New Year.  And maybe by then, the topics of conversation will be over their gifts received at Christmas instead of the awful events on Friday. I just pray they can get through the next few days without having to hear these things.

 
I have thought about taking a facebook hiatus for a few days, the Sandy Hook tragedy is just too much for me to process. I can’t look at the pictures of the sweet darling’s faces who were taken away from their families entirely too soon. I just need to look at my own children, to feel the bile rise up in my throat at the mire thought of losing one of them. I just can't bring myself to put twenty stars on my facebook status because 20 is just too many, 1 is just too many. And I certainly can’t read one more single post turning the loss of 26 people into a debate on gun control, keeping prayer/God in schools, or healthcare. For crying out loud, quiet.  The best thing we can do is to pray, and be better, be better parents, be better friends, be better citizens, teach our kids to be better, just be better humans.  We need to make a change in this country that congress has nothing to do with. Start our own revolution, where we take the time to listen to people, check on our neighbors, treat others with real kindness, want less, and be thankful for more, be mindful of our actions, and tell those around us how much they mean to us.  Turning this catastrophe in to a political debate does not honor the lives of those dead children.  Making this world into a better place to be in for the kids who walked out of that school that morning alive, that, my friends, would be a beautiful tribute to those sweet babies.

 

If you would like to get involved: Kelly’s Korner and Teddy Bears for Sandy Hook.

Just b- on Facebook!

I wanted to let you all know, I made a page on Facebook for my blog. You can go HERE to like my blog.  I hope this will make it easier to update when I post without sticking it on my personal facebook newsfeed.

Go check it out please!

Santa "Shopped" 2012

 

We needed a break from the world this weekend.  Our local Hy-Vee was hosting Santa and REAL REINDEER!  At first glance, this photo looks like rare miracle that all four of my offspring are not only looking at the camera but showing some resemblance of a smile to boot.

 

No dice my friends, this photo is indeed a fraud.  Upon closer inspection you may be able to spot that Max has some extra long and blurry feet and Karter has grown a third arm. This is my first time messing in picmonkey with layers and I am not very experienced but something needs to be done or I end up with a series of pictures that look like this:

 

 Even Santa's elf was having a hard time staying focused and looking at the camera.

We learned a fun fact about reindeer: they stink!  It could have been any combination of the Hy-Vee's "Fresh Catch" sea-food week inside, the rainy weather outside Hy-Vee, or the droppings they left in case they lost the way, but reindeer smell, and bad!

 

After we pet the stinky reindeer, and washed our hands with sanitizer, we went inside to see the jolly old man himself, Santa.

 Oh Lukie!  He was not having any of it.

This year Gavin asked Santa for a 3DS-XL. I told him a long time ago that I didn't want them to have a 3DS because I think it is hard on their eyes (I have no proof of that, by the way) since then, he has decided that is what he wants more than anything, and that became the ONLY thing he is asking for.

 

This year Karter asked for a Mario vs Donkey Kong ds game and a Moshi Monster game.

 

Their wish lists are  pretty small this year, we have been so blessed that there isn't much we need, except for socks, which we are all getting new of.

 

Luke and Max asked Santa for a ball, some new spoons, and some trucks.

 

Daddy asked for an antenna for his tv, a multi-tool, and some new jeans.

Mommy asked for some rubber spatulas(mine have all gone missing) 2 black squirrels- kidnapped transplanted from in town to my property, a new bible, and a gift certificate to get my hair cut and to Amazon.  I actually think I wouldn't mind a trip to the Amazon, to a spa, alone, but that is a post for another day, my friends.

 

What are you asking for this Christmas?

 

Monsters.

"the world is a lot more scary and dangerous then when you are snuggled up in your nice warm home." -the snowman narrator on Rudolph.

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer was exactly what we needed tonight. Cuddled up with their daddy on the couch is exactly where every child should be. Watching Rudolph, hiding their eyes when the abominable snowman growls from behind an iceberg. I cant help but think if only, if only the only bad guys kids today knew were the monsters on their tv, that never come out of their 52 inch boxes, that when they get too scary they can go away with a click of a remote. 

Tonight we told our boys tonight about the massacre in Connecticut.  Karter can read and we didn't want him reading a headline and being worried.  Mostly, we wanted the boys to hear it from us, not someone on the bus or accidentally hearing the news. We didn't tell them all of it, some things I don't think they need to know. Here is what we told the boys.

• A very bad person did a very bad thing today, and hurt many people, and because things like this don't happen very often that is why they are on the news. If daddy ate a cheeseburger every single day for all of his life and one day decided to eat a salad, it would be news. It is the newscaster's job to report the news.  It is our job, as your mommy and daddy to protect you from the news we don't think you are ready to hear.
• They asked what happened and we told them that the man shot a bunch of people and they died. That this is why we don't play with guns, or point them at people.  This is also why we don't pretend to kill people. When someone dies, they are gone forever and ever and cant come back. 
• We told them this happened far far far far far away from where we live.
• That when you are sad, mad, angry, it is NEVER okay to hurt other people.
• That the man who did this is dead, and the police officers who came to help made sure he was gone. We are safe, they are safe and that man can not hurt anyone again ever.
• We talked about how the people who have loved ones die, and the first responders need our prayers, and we need to pray for Jesus to heal their hearts. How their families are very sad and people are very sad because of this happening, and how more than ever, these people need Jesus.
• We told them they are safe. That it is our job to keep them safe, that we will always keep them safe. That God will always protect them.
• That if they had any questions, we wanted them to talk to us about it.

We told them, and then we gave them a big hug and kiss, and I got up, went to the bathroom and threw up.  My thoughts all day have gone to that dark dark place.  The place where I write things and don't publish here, because I don't want my kids to read them someday. The fear I have paralyzes me.  Sending me into a level of anxiety that isn't good for anyone. The kind of fear where I hide in closets and never come out. That I research homeschooling and never take my sweet babies out into the world, where someone could harm them.  But I won't because if I hide them from the evil, I also hide them from the good out there.  Because even in the face of such a horrendous tragedy, there will be good. There will be people who come to know Jesus, there will be faces of bravery, and heroism. As we watch this community come out of this terrible heartbreak, we will see how the community closes around them and comes together to support them, restoring our broken perception of humanity.  Mr Rogers said this:

 "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To ...this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."

I know Satin would love to keep us there, in that place of fear and anxiety. Because locked up we can't share our light.  Like the song I sang in sunday school, "This Little Light of Mine" We cant show people the light of God's love when we are hidden under a bushel (or in a closet.)

Perhaps though, what we didn't tell our sweet babies, are just as important as the things we did tell them. Here are a few things we chose not to tell them...

• We didn't tell them the "people" were kids. Little little kids. I am having trouble wrapping my brain around this myself, many of the kids that died were the same age as my own babies.  My brain can not begin to imagine being in those parents' shoes. They don't need to know this.  
• We didn't tell them it happened in a school. Schools should still be a safe place when you are in kindergarten and first grade.  I have a hard time with this one too.  Schools should be safe, but it feels like over and over again that this isn't the case.  I remember Columbine, the fear, the kids running from the school. I knew back then that schools weren't safe. They still aren't. I think they know this to an extent.  They have come home talking about the intruder drills they did in school that day. Safe places shouldn't have a need for intruder drills.  I hate this for them.
• We didn't tell them the name of the town (Newtown) because it's way to close to the town we actually live in, and our town's name is accidently said throughout the newscasts.
• We didnt bring politics into it.  Now is not the time to be talking about gun control or turning this into a debate on universal health care.
• We didnt tell them how mad, sad, angry, terrified we are.  To say that I am a wreak, is an understatement. This rocked my world, and I spent most of the day in tears. Every ounce of my being wanting to go to their school and pick them up.  Preparing myself for what to say to them when they got home. Letting my mind wonder, what I would be doing, how I would be feeling if that were my kid in that school.  My kid, that I kissed goodbye that morning after arguing about what sandwich I was going to pack him in his lunch that day, who's Christmas presents are sitting wrapped under the tree. I just cant go there. It gets dark fast. I can only light a candle here tonight and pray, crying out to God. That He, who makes everything beautiful, can somehow take this nightmare of a situation and turn it in to something for His glory.

So tonight we tuck in healthy, happy, alive babies extra tight. We let them stay up a little late watching Christmas movies, and read them one more bedtime story. We remind them that there are no such things as monsters, close their door, shut our eyes and know we may have just lied to our children. 

 

“Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate.” ~Charlotte Gray

 

 

Luke Lately

This little boys has been cracking me up with his little smirks followed by nasty stink eye.  He has been a bit of camera candy for me the last few days.

 

Gavin started calling him Lewie-ka-blewie.

The other day he got ahold of a green washable, completely non toxic, marker and bit the end of it.  There wasnt much I could do but laugh and grab my camera.

 

 

 My mom is usually Luke's favorite target for his lazer stink eye. But on her birthday, his present to her was to sit on her lap for all of dinner and give her some huge loves.

 

 

Doesnt he look so big in this next picture???

SWW

 

So what if I have zero sympathy for my husband who is struggling with a sinus infection/cold crap?  This morning I called the dr (after a week of him telling me he was going to be fine) and then called the ENT for a consult for him to get his tonsils and adenoids removed.  He is sick more than anyone else in this house, and I am tired of it.  We have too many kids to be a man down, too many! 

 

So what if I plan to get this done yet this year? I am hoping I can get him in the week after Christmas.  That way it can be done on this year's deductible. 

 

So what if I have changed an unhealthy amount of poopy diapers today, like where in the heck is it all coming from?

 

So what if I cried like I broke up with my high school boyfriend when I watched Parenthood last night.  I was nearly inconsolable. At one point Scott woke up and told me "its just a tv show, calm down." Listen pal, it's "just" a sinus infection, shut it.

 

 

So what if I sent Gavin to school even though he had a small fever last night, he felt fine this mornign and I have had a sick kid home all week.  He flat out refused to stay home and I figured my days of him wanting to go to school are numbered so I took advantage. 

 

On the same note, so what if I made Karter go to school today, he had been fever free for 36 hours and has been acting fine at home.  If you are healthy enough to fight with your brother and play video games all day, you are healthy enough to go to school... cripes, that made me sound EXACTLY like my mother.

 

So what if that last SWW bullet made me sound exactly like my mother??

 

And so what if I am having some mixed emotions that our bible study is done tomorrow.  I am ready to not have so much going on, but I will miss my friends terrible.

 

And so what if I think I can hear a mouse in our house as I write this...

 

So what if I accidently let my family plan a Christmas get together at the same time as Scott's family's Christmas get together... I am sure we will try to make it to both but only stay at one. I said accidently folks.

 

So what if I spent the better part of 3 hours yesterday trying to track down the owners of a dog that showed up at our house.  I hate when that happens.  We really arent pet people for a reason.

 

So what if I went to sears last weekend.  I hate that place but I had to pick up my order from the infamous black friday mess. Dont worry I made sure I told everyone standing around me in line what a horrendous experience I had with that store.

 

So what if I hand addressed all of my 75 Christmas cards?  I got a little carried away this year. I made 2 different styles and sent them out accordingly.

 

 

So what if I made the worlds BEST meatloaf last night.. seriously, I was so sad that there weren't any leftovers this morning.  It was so easy too!  I used 1.5lbs of hamburger, 1 box of stove top, 2 eggs and 3/4 cup of water. Seriously, it was the best meatloaf ever!

 

So what if this is the first year in the 8 years Scott and I have been together that I have not found out what I am getting for Christmas?  I ALWAYS find out, either I pick it out, or I buy it for myself (I am Santa in this house after all) or I dig through every secret hiding spot until I stumble upon it entirely on accident. This year I have no clue and no real drive to figure it out.  My real hang up is, that I didn't even tell him what I wanted, and when I did, he told me "well, I already have what I am getting you." Seriously any other year but this one, this statement would send me to the closet to find my Sherlock Holmes detective kit.

 

So what if I am out of my mind with excitement about my trip after the first of the year?  I am taking the Megabus to Omaha to meet some of my Mom of Multiples friends. I can not wait for a weekend away! 

 

So what if the boys are napping and I am blogging instead of wrapping gifts like I had planned... I guess this is all of my SWWs.