First of all I need to give some credit where credit is due.. I wouldn't be here without a few special people. 1st of all without my husband who not only contributed 1/2 of his DNA (twice) to make these 2 special people, but from day one has walked beside me and told me I could do it. 2nd, my best friend Hollie, who reminded me that "Anything after 15 months of nursing is most definitely considered weird," and kept me laughing at each failed attempt to wean telling me it was "probably going to be okay if he was still getting a nip before noon recess." She's funny, I need her. Also my mom & sister who have helped my balance a baby while nursing in the car, and didn't even blink twice about me pumping and feeding a baby over dinner at Olive Garden. Last but certainly not least, I wouldn't be here without my lactation consultant Christine. I have written about her before, but she was the key to my breastfeeding success. When I look back, I think it had less to do with the actual breastfeeding and much more to do with the support she gave me. She was always encouraging me that I was doing a great job- my mom had to say stuff like that, but not Christine. She could have told me to get a grip and suck it up, but she didn't. Her quiet, gentile encouragement kept me going. For that I am forever grateful.
So I am finally done. At 23 months and 13 days, Luke and Max are finally weaned. I thought this day may never happen and I was crossing my fingers, toes, and practically my boobs, that they would be done before they turned two. I had tried weaning at 15 months, and 18 months, and 20 months and every month after, and set my summer goal to be completely finished by their second birthday.
I must say it was a pretty long weaning process, I tried cold turkey and I ended up so engorged that I couldn't move, let alone let anyone get close enough to me to even breathe on me. So I went back to nursing. I consulted with a few friends of mine who I knew had some experience in extended breastfeeding and asked for their advice. What I learned was that they took, what I like to call, the easy way out. Instead of weaning a not-very verbal 2 year old- complete with tantrums and angry biting, they just let them win and continued to nurse until they were 4 or older. No dice. I can tell you how to wean a four year old, you say "no, here is a ham sandwich!" They got to skip right over the screaming toddler (they just had one, I have 2) at the bottom of their legs crying for some nourishment, begging for some nonnie, crying all.day.long. I couldn't be that mom, my sanity was teetering as it was, nursing and I needed to part ways.
In the middle of May I started cutting back day time feedings. They were only nursing mornings and night time, that took the rest of May and most of June. The hardest part was not letting them nurse out of habit. So many times Luke would climb into my lap and assume the position and I would, without thinking about it, pull it out for him to nurse.
At the end of June I went out of town for the weekend and decided that since I wasn't nursing that much anyway I could try cold turkey again. Wrong. Again I was engorged and in pain. So I let them nurse. With only 2 feedings left I tried to decide which one to cut first. I wanted to kick the AM feed because I knew that one would be the hardest, and I wanted it done first. But cutting it made for an entire day of crying babies at my feet and, well, ain't nobody got time for that! I started setting the timer for 5 minutes in the morning. They could nurse those 5 minutes and then it was "all gone" and they had to get their milk cups.. We then cut the night feeding so they were nursing just 5 minutes every morning. After a few days we switched to a commercial break, or about 2-3 minutes, then after a few more days we went to 2 minutes a day. Soon they just lost interest. I didn't get engorged weaning like this because my body really couldn't keep a supply just nursing 5 minutes a day.
I am still producing milk, but not much. The boys still climb up on my lap and "assume the position" but instead we snuggle and just talk about "the good old days" and how now that they are almost 2 *gasp* they don't need any more "nonnie." They haven't nursed in an entire week. I think we are finally done.
I don't think I am sad. They were ready, they just needed a little push out of the nest, I just needed a way to do that was best for all parties involved. Like all things parenting related, you just have to do what is best for the entire family. I have said it over and over that breastfeeding isn't for everyone, and it most definitely isn't best for the baby if you are feeling like locking yourself up in a closet. And if you do try nursing, and nurse for a week, a month, 6 months, 18months, 48 months it is an accomplishment and you should be proud. You shouldn't feel embarrassed that you "only made it a month" because, well you made it a month! Way to go! I didn't write this post to brag about how long I nursed, I wrote it because some day, some where there is going to be a mom who is trying to figure out how to wean her nearly two year olds and would like to do it with the least amount of conflict as possible. THAT is who I wrote this for!
